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I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow. [entries|friends|calendar]
I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.

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[02 Nov 2004|03:00pm]
okay, this is the deal. this will be my LAST post in this journal.
why you ask? because people read it who really shouldn't. i know that this is an ONLINE journal, but i would like some of my things i say in HERE respected and not spread aroudn school, thank you very much. my new journal will be FRIENDS ONLY and will only have a select few. i will comment on your journal if i feel that i can TRUST you to not spread my business around. I mean c'mon.. i don't tell everybody what's in your journal to people at school. so, i would appreciate if you didn't. that is all.
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[31 Oct 2004|02:34pm]
hi.
haven't updated in a long time.
i'm kinda happy now.
this week was fun.
didn't do much.
which made me happy.
spent the night at brandon's last night.
for the first time ever..
he um.. milkshake? [haha] um.. he "talked
to simon", um in other words, oral sex.
yeah. wonderfulness.
oh how i really like that boy.
ok, richie. don't even think it.
i know i know i know.
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[22 Oct 2004|03:20pm]
Figured i'd update really fast. so today was blah. last night i had choir practice in bay city, brandon took me. awe, how i really like brandon. he sat next to me. those old ladies didn't even recognize me. i felt kind of out of place, you know. but, brandon schooched closer to me wher ei was sitting and got a binder and folllowed along, he really should've just sang .lol. i competed with patricia anthony once again, and i think i finally won. well, brandon said i did. =) yay. then we rocked out to christmas music in the car.

then today. boring. ssr first hour. read a really good book. second hour i was in my senate.. after listening to heather say, " i want to get drunk and strip.. strip all weekend and get drunk all weekend." yeah, good one heather. yeah, whatever. i guess i don't mind her. third hour read some more of that book. fourth hour did some reserach on colleges. fifth hour we had our pizza party and watched little shop of horrors and some of the spring program. sixth hour we didnt' do anything. brittany and i went to the office to get some information on coolllges.that girl is really nice, i raelly like her. :)

at lunch.. awwee... brandon gave me a pink anniversay beanie baby. it was sooo sweet. i love it. cause today is our ANNIVERSARY. (thanks, richie) and yeah. i really appreciate brandon so much now, and i'm so happy we're to gether. i missed him so badly.

other than that, i foudn out where i want to apply for sure.
(in order of importance)
1. GVSU
2. Central Michigan
3. Eastern Michigan
4. Ferris State University
5. Delta.
6. Baker

fun times. fun times.
i'm going.


And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last
[i sang that for the spring program sophomore year.. and it's how i feel now. ]
6 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[20 Oct 2004|04:18pm]
figured i'd update since i hardly ever do. cause, i'm so busy with school and junk, but today i have some free time. so, big news, brandon and i are giong back out. (the first brandon that i went out with) we had been hanging out and stuff, and decided to go with the boyfriend/girlfriend label. so yeah, he's my boyfriend. i missed him so much, and this time, i'm going to appreciate him like i should've the first time we dated. Yeah, he's a great person.

so let's see. nothing intresting happened today at all. i think selena's mad at me for some reason, probably cause i said something about armor for sleep yesterday. so, i'm sorry for that. i miss having her like that. we haven't spent luncch together in 2 days. ;X yesterday i spent with brandon though, and today.. victor! cause i was lonely and he asked me who i was sitting with and i said no one, and so he asked if he could sit with me. ah, i was relieved. i heart that kid, he's so nice. and sweet. he's ALWAYS complimenting me on one thing or another about my singing / vocal range. fifth horu we saw me sing on the spring program + made cards for ms. kohut (her mom had just died) and sixth- played french bingo. i bingoed three times. :) yay. vernon bingoed four times. all the times we played. stupid kid, i bet he cheated! ;( lol jk.

i got my graduation tassel today. it makes me feel like i'm actually graduating. i got richie's senior picture today, whcih makes me so sad that he's leaving ot go the marines. *cries* and i read the back of it, and i started tearing up. ;( after school, went to the senior meeting, what a waste. and then got some pizza. come home, and straightned my hair.

brandons' coming to go take me with him to this one lady's house to fix her tv or something. i don't know he asked me to go, and i said sure. so yeah, i loooooove him. =)

still stuck on what to sing for the christmas program by myself. :( what's a good christmas song that can be a solo?
4 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[16 Oct 2004|07:20pm]
updating for the fun of it. cause i'm bored.
let's see. what did i do today? nothing.
went to the gvsu vs svsu game with brandon @ noon. then went to walmart. walked around. at a walmart hot dog and a frito pie. and lied to the lady saying i was going to get pop and i got an icee which costs more. i'm such a thief. oh well.! we walked around. brandon bought me underwear, thank you brandon. then we went to his house takled with his mom for a while. then i came home. that's aobut it.


i told richie and brandon last night. i am happy that i did. i love those boys more than anything. and trevor, whom i didn't tell, but i still love. cause he's so pretty. ;) and he cam eover yesterday. i laughed so hard, i almost peed my pants. he got up and started dancing to THRILLER. oh man, he knew all the moves. what a fun guy.







oh i love thee, matchbook romance.
5 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[15 Oct 2004|11:04am]

i want to thank rachel for commenting yesterday tellnig me to be happy. thanks, rachel. i'm sorry that you got most easily confused too. =( i don't think you get confused that easily. but yeah.





today. we had a half day. cause of parent teacher conferences last night. got my report card though. i had a 3.857. =) yay.


richie rocks harder at life..
then anyone i know.








i'm going to go eat some lunch.
i wish i had a job. i need to take my application to culver's.
i'm going to go order my varisty coat today. i realized that we never offically ordered it. and my mom is like yeah, right. and so we have to go to thsi afternoon. and then we're goign to kay's to see if they have good class rings there. they will probaly be more expensive, but that's alright. if it lasts, then good. :)



i'm off.
comment? anybody. !!?!?!
1 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[14 Oct 2004|05:10pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]


i don't know why i update, nobody ever comments anyway. i'm so alone. i'm such a loner. i am howeover outstanding, thank you very much. i got outstanding junior. [i was SOOO outstanding last year.] it's this thing where they pick three girls and three boys from your class (class of 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and i got picked. go me. it was me, richie, sam, brandon, ali, and autumn. fun times. i had to take my picture for it today. and they hang it out in a showcase next to the main office. yeah. that was teh highlite of my day, of course. *rolls eyes* at lunch selena made brandon mad and i think that he's mad at me now, great. i really need to talk to him about something.



i love richie, he's the coolest. and i'm sorry for anything that i've made him feel bad about. and all the misquoations i've typed about him. sorry, richie.





on a happy note. i decdied i'm going to apply to grand valley state university, andrian college, eastern michigan university, and central michigan university. it's kinda a variety of colleges, and taht's what i wanted.

*goes off to wallow in self pity.*
1 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

hi there! [12 Oct 2004|04:19pm]
I figured i'd update cause i have nothing better to do.

so what happened at school today? nothing much. nothing at all, really.
first hour: world lit. we finished our poetry packets. fun stuff.
second hour: gov't. we got into our groups. my group consists of myself, drew, catie and amanda. [ i feel bad, i hope her name is amanda.] we decided on our bill issue. to abolish the electoral college. drew and i thought of that yesterday thugh, but catie + amanda said it was ok though. it was crazy though, cause i was thinking of making a bill like that in my head, and then two seconds later, drew said soemthign about it. i'm like whoa. mind reader! =)
third hour: peer mediation. nothing of course. i played free cell most of the hour. then selena came up and we laughed and stuff. =) fun times.
fourth hour: we did our warm ups. then did this new thing in word that's like a thing about us. such as personal characteristics, main events, growing up, and something else. oh well. it's kinda dumb. oh well.
lunch: subway. it's tuesday. footlongs for 3.69. yay for chicekn teriyaki.
fifth hour: concert choir. we sang christmas music mostly. up on the house top, and deck the nutcracker hall. which is my favorite choir christmas song. =)
sixth hour: my 2nd favorite male in the whole wide world taught us. aka richie. fun times.. but he ah. he called on me to answer some question, and i refused. i hate being called on. =( oh well. sorry, homie r.

then came home. just lounged around. watched maury. talked to selena. fun times. victor told me i looked cute today. i love little compliments like that. =) it makes me happy. nobody ever tells me i look cute anymore. well, lately they have, but i missed it!

i'm giong to do a survey cause i'm bored.
i expect richie to do it too. =) and email it to me or something.
well golly gee whiz..Collapse )
i'm out.
i'm bored though.
call me?
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[10 Oct 2004|07:18am]
ok. let me tell you about friday night.
FRIDAY
haha, my dad picks me up and tells me that he has a hot date. so i called up cali to see if i could hang out with her and courtney. we went over there and took some pizza. :) yay for pizza. and then we just sat around and watched tv for a while. and then we went to mejier so cali could get some hair dye and we got some jones soda cause they were on sale. then we decided we just wanted to go back to my dad's house, so my uncle bobby drpped us off @ myd ad's house.. and we walked ot witzkies and got "100" penny candies. cali got about 120. hah. and then we got back watched some mean girls.. and those girls are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo weird. entertaining to watch though. while cali was dying my hair courtney was making up songs on the keyboard which included, "Birdcage that looks like a fan," "frizzy hair," something about "full bladder," and others i have forgotten. man oh ' man. fun times. those girls are so crazy. then we just lounged around and watched some tv for a while. i had fun. went to sleep, woke up and just watched tv and all.. and cali straightened my ahir.. which everybody liked @ the homeocming dance.


can you believe it? we won our homecoming game. makes me kind of sad. :(


Saturday.
aka the homecoming dance. it was super boring. i hardly enjoyed myself.. maybe it was because when my date got there, he was wandering around most of the time. and we were slow dancing and some other girl came upa nd started talking to him and He started dancing with her... so i walked away, so he wouldn't feel like he was stuck with me. yeah forget that crap, made me soo mad. so i basically hung out with richie most of the night. danced with fabian, he looked soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute. seriously, sooo cute. oh man. i would even go Hawtt with two t's. =) saw preston! awwe i missed that boy. so tha twas happy. danced with drew,. fun times. :) then told me my mopm we went to bennigns and we wakled through meijer @ midnight.. dropped richie home. and parked and "talked' for a whiel.. then we went and parked soemwhere else.. steamed up the windows.







that's all.
ah my weekend was alright.
2 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[08 Oct 2004|01:25pm]

So, i just got back from tennis regionals. fun times. i got put against a very highly seeded girl, screw you regional guys. eastern lansing or something. fun times. so i was up. i was. then she came back and beat me 6-4; 6-3? something like that. she made me so mad.. this is a top rated girl.. and she was seeded very highly. stupid girl. makes me mad. and i saw that bay city western chick there again. i swear i wanted to grab her throat out and kill her. her name is rebecca something. yeah she makes me mad. ;X DARN YOU OKEMOS! seriously, thosed girls were hardcore good. one of them came up to me after my match and told me i was good. that made me soo happy. these girls are number one seeds for most of the lineup. serioulsy all of them except 2 singles and 4 doubles.. which was eastern lansing.

dan took us out to lunch @ mongolian barbeque. dan's so sweet. it's expensive tehre too! it was 11 for lunch and plus the drinks and such for like 10 girls. awwe, i felt bad.. but i made dan cry. seriously, i was like dan, i'm going to miss you very much.. and he was like "kayla i'm giong to miss you to.. but you're gonna hve to come back and visit me.. oh man, look you made me cry." and i'm like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. x's a million. awe, i love dan. =)

so homeocming game is tonight. i wonder what the score will be. i wonder how badly we will um.. win? *shakes head* maybe we will win. that'd be fun. :) tomorrow is the dance. fun times. my dad is taking me to go do my nails tonight. :)it makse me happy. so, i'm going. there with nobody really. i mean, i'm gong to be with richie for the first part, and then i'm supposed to be going with brandon? which makse no sense. oh well, i love that kid. i really do, and it's sad. cause i love him and i know that nothing will happen and we're friends.. but sometimes, friends is just the best to be. =)










i'm going to go.
sean is going to sue me. cause i used some of his lyrics in my profile. *sticks out tongue* well.. no you're not, sean. cause my MILKSHAKE brings ALL the boys to the yard.
I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[02 Oct 2004|10:31pm]
ok, i know i don't update that much anymore, but i'm a busy girl nowadays. well, not really. so life has been ok i guess. went to the doctors last week, said i coudl play tennis this week. fun stuff. i'm giong out tomorrow morning at 10 to play with lovely brandon. (yes, ex boyfriend brandon) yeah, should be fun. hopefully he'll go easy on me.. cause i still do have my sprained ankle. tomorrow is sunday. supposed to be a day of rest.

so i'm still doing all this stuff for the door contest. seriously, it's really competetive this year. choir usually wins. this year our biggest competition is my moms room. but we're gonna win, cause we rock. homecoming is the weekend, i'm going. i have no date, but i'm going cause my dress is too pretty to just not get worn. :)

so today i went to that gov't thing. i needed hours. i went to the republicans, cause they called me. chris stine and duaviliar were the only other kids there. we phone banked for an hour, then went and walked the streets. i got my own neighborhood.. well, not wehre i live. but i had to walk by myself. by green acres plaza. on vera street. i got dropped off there at 11.. (the street) said they'd pick me up at 1. i got done at 11;20. they gave me a cell phone.. and i called my dad. then i went to green acres plaza and looked at clothes and stuff. ;) lol cause i'm a loser. i liked the phone they gave me it was a blue nokia and it was so cute. :) then picked me up. fun times. yay for hot guys that are my advisors. ;)




BearScout87 (10:41:14 PM): And god knows that Johny Depp spends long sleepless nights with you on his mind!
oh yeah, totally. <3



i'm falling in love.. with daphne loves derby.



you know, anybody who reads this should comment.. that way i know that you are reading this. i think i'm giong to reset my friends list.. i don't know, not sure yet.. the only person who ever comments is richie anyway. and i see richie everyday pretty much. i do'nt care who youa re, you could've just added me two daays ago (like three people have) and i just want to know.. you know? lol, i'm such a freak.

i'm going i'm talking to SOME COOL KIDS.

RANDOM THOUGHTS.Collapse )
1 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[29 Sep 2004|07:27pm]
Figured i'd update, even though i think richie is the only one to read this and i see him at school.


so i almost didn't go to school today, cause i was excused cause i was supposed to be with the tennis team, and such, but then i decided to go.. cause i came down here and checked my messages to see that someone wanted to know if i would spend lunch with them, and i coudln't disapoint them, right? so i went to school.

World lit we worked on our rough drafts of our childhood memories, and we did a mythology paper. fun stuff. we didn't do much. world lit is so boring.
Government um, we had a quiz. it was only 25 questions, some multiple choice, soem true and false, and some matching. ah, i didn't let alfonso copy me today, cause i'm a nice kid. :) he wanted me to rub his back. i did it for like a second. then i got weirded out and stopped. it's not the same.. there's only one person who i would actually enjoy rubbing their backs.. and that's .. well, you know.
Peer 3 um. not much. talked with betsy for a while. played free cell, and i won again. i rock at that game now. and i listened to my senses fail cd and i wrote a little bit, about random things.. and then selena came up and we talked.
Computers not much. typed, the usual. we had to do this new thing now, about accuracy and stuff.. and so we had to start back at lesson a. when i was almost done with lesson t. :( oh well, i'm a fast typer.
LUNCH um. ate lunch with a friend. fun times. nough' said. i missed it.
Choir Ok, like five kids asked me questions about brandon. *shakes head* and oen girl.. stephanie clark was asying how she always wanted to date him, and i aws like "um.. go for it, then.." which made me so mad, i wanted to slap her and i don't even know why. and then i sang the alma mater for the door. all by myself cause candace wasn't there. cause we are playing it while they aer judging it.. and me + candace were supposed to sing it, but she was at tennis today.. so i had to just sing it.

then i had a doctor's appointment in bay city. with my doctor. prescribed me an ankle brace, which actually rocks, cause now ic an wear two shoes to school.

well, i'm gonig to go, i'm talking to a cool kid.
3 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[26 Sep 2004|06:34pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

ARGH. so it was my dad's weekend. friday i went to the football game. brandon's mom stopped me and my dad and talked for a while i guess. well, her and my dad talked i basically just stood there while she looked at me funny. *shrugs* She's a really nice lady. She sold my dad three raffle tickets. then we went and sat down.. talked to rachel for a little bit, ryan came up and talked to me for a while, greg talked for a sec + met my dad, and richie talked to richie of course. yay for richie. he kept telling me that the football team would score 5 touchdowns in the last quarter? hah, what a dork. yay for arthur hill football? *shrugs again* i like watching football actually, well, not that game anyway. i like those pants they wear, they are nice and tight around the tush. haha, lol just kidding.

then saturday, we didn't do much... um.. didn't get out till 2ish.. then around 4ish while we were playing tennis, i FELL. it didn't hurt so bad at first, so we kept playing which enabled me to win a set against my dad 6-4. go me. and then i got back to his house and it started hurting like no other. So we went to the hospital. sat in the waiting room for a little while, got some xrays. turned out i have a very severe sprained ankle *swears under breath* and this guy was some wacko janitor guy i think.. seriously, the doctor just came out of the janitors closet before coming in to see me, i saw him. what a weird guy. then he hur tmy foot even worse. gave me some tylenol and coidine, which helps quite a bit. then i called DAN. he was sad, and very sad. yep. sounded like he was going to cry when i told him. then called richie. yay for richie. then went home and watched some of the tv and went to sleep. OOH and i got a mcdonalds bacon ranch salad, those are the best. :) AND I MET A NEW FRIEND his name is trevor. he had broken his wrist @ state park. he's serioulsy the cutest boy i've ever seen. he's 18. he's mexican and white i think, cause he's light skinneda nd looks mexican, but he has blue eyes and his mom is mexican.. i don't kno, but he's adorable. he gave me his aim name, cause he was there when i was crying and got up and got me a tissue. and we talked for a while we were waiting for the doctor. it was fun stuff. so i started talking to him today, it's funny though, he types super slow cause he broke his wrist, so he types with one hand, it's cute. it'll take him like a minute to type "lol" he's groovy.

then today, my dad had a baseball game thingy, so we picked up richie, and richie went with us so i would'nt have to be alone, i love that kid. yay for richie. we sat there and played "what would you rather do." that's a fung ame. and then we went to 711, and then to culvers and ate there. and then back to the car, me and my gimpy foot. and i had to walk down the curb, and i coudln't barely do it, so richie was about to carry me!!!!!!!! but i stopped and fell again.. like on my butt, man, good times. and then i hurt my foot standing up. awee, richie's a great kid. :)

i'm going to school tomorrow, cause i'm a trooper. plus, i can't let those kids catch up on my tying things. yay for that. :) i think i'll go and watch tennis practice too. that'll be fun. *rolls eyes* i wnat to go and support the team. causei 'm like that, and YELL at jenna for not coming on thursday. :)

OH, and i got spoiled. i got like five new cds. my dad spoils me. he said he wanted to take me shopping at one store and to pick, so i picked fye. i got 1. SENSES FAIL! 2. BEST OF BOWIE [2 discs] 3. SPIDERMAN2 [i wanted vindicated] 4. MARIA MENA [i heart 'you're hte only one and fragile'] 5. TBS [2nd one, i lost the first one i got of the newer cd]

well, i'm giong to go, i'm getting annoyed plus it's time for soem of my drugs. :)

I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[24 Sep 2004|04:01pm]
so, i'm going through my ashlee simpson phase again, darn you ashlee simpson. i hate how you're music is patheticly addicting, and it's sad. i know i'm super lame for likeing her, but she's just soooooooo cute. she can't sing a lick, but i love her pitch problems, they make me happy. just thought i'd let you know that. =)

TODAY.
World Lit- Not much, me and alfonso finished our government work.. and we had ssr and the econ guy i guess for a sub. he's cute. i'd jump his bones.
Government- Talked about teh house of reps and the senate. i have a B in there, yes, i rock so hard. too bad alfonso has a b too, cause he copies off me. darn you, alfosno, darn you. oh well.. and mr. gravlin LOVED my declaration of independence. he said it was very well writtena nd such. and it was worth 50 points i think. i got 49. i wrote it in ebonics, GO ME. :) too bad everyone else in my group didn't do anything, and they got a 49 too. (alfonso, kyle, and ryan d.) oh well. OH YEAH and mike smiled at me again today for three seconds. a three second smile is a long time.. seriously.. like 1 missippi, and such. he's so adorable. and then DREW out of the middle of nowhere, starting massaging my shoulders. god bless my soul, i jumped. i was like who is that..? but, you know what, i liked it? cause i have nobody do that anymore, which is sad, but oh well.. it was drew. ;X
Peer Mediation- do i EVER do anything in peer mediation? nope, i don't. i just sat around until selena acme up.. OH YEAH, i wont that freecell game. oh that makes me happy. i rock.
Computers- we had a sub, cause ms. kotenko wasn't there. iT WAS MS. TOTH! awe, i love ms. toth. she's a nice lady, she was drama student teacher last year. and yeah i did my microtype. i'm on P i think. everybody else is still around 13ish. we had to start at 1.. then to go 19. then after that we had to do the alpahbet lessons starting from a. yeah, it's a lot of work, but i am a speed demon, thank you richie. heh. adam t + drew were watching me type when i typed 105 words a minute, which is one of my slowest, but it's all good. i did one for selena and got her 92. =)
Concert Choir- SANG PHANTOM, and of course victor leans in to hear me hit those high notes, go me. and we sang telephone hour and talked about our door contest, wer'e soo going to win.
French- watched october sky. ah, that's an ok movie i guess, but still. i thought we were watching the lion king in french.














tennis game yesterday, lost. but, brandon was there. that made me happy. which, is weird. i never realized how great of a friend he was until we stopped talking and i started feeling empty. it's weird how i still feel comfortable around him, you know? so yeah if he reads this, thanks, brandon. and and richie! *LAUGHS* "YEAH!" lol, you dork.. and that girl wanted to hit you or something all the time while you were screaming for me. hahaa, i love you, wrestling boy.









yep, that's about it.
i'm in bay city this weekend with my daddy.
yay.
i love you guys.
1 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

CLEAVAGE! [22 Sep 2004|08:59pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

you are pretty and perky.
oh cleavage, how you are smooth and soft,
you're so much better than beef jerky,
and you are good at getting guys off.
I love to wiggle you in front of the boys
i like it when you pop out of my shirt
you make me look very proper and poised
and it's a wonder why people call me a flirt.
I love how you're so natural and real
i love you cleavage, till the day that i die.
i love how my d's are a full course meal..
BUT when you start to sag, i will start to cry.

yeah, i'm a perv. but ashley told me i should write a poem on cleavage, and this is me being silly, so yeah! i'm a pervert, sorry. =(









ummmmm.. today. *sigh* boring. i saw brandon after fith hour again. he left me a message to tell him hi. i was going to, i had all intentions to, but then... i just coudln't talk to him. i wanted to, but i was at a loss for words. so i just asked richie what my song in french meant. although i didn't care, and i just wanted to be next to brandon, you know, just to see him all close to see if he's changed physically. Richie knew it too, but, he was being a good friend, and he just kept talking, i love that boy. he watches out for me and tries not to make me too embarressed. =)

so i go out to tennis.. and i didn't even notice brandon was out there. he was out there hanging up those football signs on the tennis courts. i didn't even recognize him, i was in my own world i guess. until he said "who was that who dropped you off?" and i said "my grandpa." and that's about it. i wish i could have a conversation with him, like face to face, you know? oh well, i'm good i guess.. at least we're talking.. which is such an improvement.








i'm going to go.
talk to you later.

3 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

It's not a case of do or die [21 Sep 2004|08:40pm]
[ mood | cold ]

So yeah, today not much happened at all. school was lame as usual. we have some crappy paper to write in first hour about myths and the differences between them all.. it's just lame, i'm all for myths and stuff, but not for the comparing and contrasting. So yeah, that's lame. and in second hour, i failed my government test, yes, go me. !! STUPID GOVERNMENT TESTS! i got mr. gravlin to give me three extra points though, cause i'm a cool kid. =) so with that added on i got a 53. it was out of a hundred, so i bombed. i suck at life. but i do have those 25 extra credit points i think i will use them to i will at least have a c on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. third hour didn't do anything. fourth hour i typed and stuff, but i didn't get to sit next to my darling today.. so i screamed over at him once in a while about feathers. fifth hour picked out solo ensemble songs. sixth um french. is gay.

tennis. lame. dont' want to talk about it. lost though, that's all you n eed to know.

came home, talked to brandon 1. we're on speaking terms again which is lovely, i missed that boy a lot. i missed talkign to him, so it's all good.

well, i'm going to go, i'm talkign to sean trying to cheer him up! :)

I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[20 Sep 2004|06:22pm]
ah! i don't know anymore, boys confuse the crap out of me. i'm still in love which is kinda pathetic and sad...


anyway, brandon left me another message last night.. asking me about my tennis record and i woke upt to it this morning.. and i told him .. well told his away message.. and he replied while i was gone. saying something along the linse of "wow, that's great.. congratulations.. i'm proud of you." wow, let me tell you, that's something i NEVER expected to hear EVER again. it was a weird feeling... it was a good feeling though. I'm sad to say, i miss having that boy as a friend.. i really do. =( Oh well, everything happens for a reason, right?


today, let's see. school was lame. government test was lame. richie's lame.. he pushes me into walls in computer class.. ! him and his feathers. lol just kidding. =)

tennis practice.. I LOVE IT WHEN THE COACH TOTALLY DOESN'T COME TO TENNIS PRACTICE! especially when we have a match tomorrow, oh, it's just so wonderful. we play centrla tomorrow at home, so if you're in the saginaw area, you should all come and support the tennis team, ah that would be splendid. !

i'm going ot go, this is a pointless entry and yeah i'm talking to some cool kids online. =)
3 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

I'll speak in riddles so you can understand... [19 Sep 2004|03:34pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

i find myself falling in love with Senses Fail. I don't know why. Their lyrics just speak to me. A LOT. Especially ones like "I'll attack someone with a switchblade knife, So that I can see their pain, I choose to be a serial killer, 'Cause the victims don't get any fame. " Yeah, i really like that. So, now i want to go out and buy their cd. =) A lot of their songs are about killing and such, but sometimes you just need to hear songs like that i guess. Which makes me sound like a pyscho killer, but hey.. i like them.

So, yeah. i don' tknow what's going on anymore. I have a government test tomorrow. I'm in love with mr. gravlin. he's such a good teacher, i actually pay attention in that class... he makes everything more intresting than it really is. I still don't like government or politics for that matter, but that class is fun. at least i ahve people to talk to in that class, like ALFONZO, KYLE!, Jason, Ryan, Drew, and Mike Kutcher. Whom i am in love with. He's so pretty. He's a very nice kid, too. =) But yeah, government test tomorrow.. i think i'm giong to fail it.. probably will. oh well. :(

I'm still in my pajamas. i'm too lazy to change out of them, and it's not like i'm going anywhere. i want ot go out and play tennis, but i'm kinda lazy. and i don't want to go out by myself.. so i think i will just stay in the rest of the night, unless i get an offer to go somewhere tonight.. who knows?



Smevluva1: why didn't you tell me that joey ramone died?
Bearscout87: Who's that?
BearScout87: Wait, was Joey that guy from Friends?

Joey Ramone, that guy from friends? =) *laughs* richie's so silly. =)





The bones I had, turned into ash.

The world did cry, the night you died

And I am no good at suicide.






ah, what to wear to school tomorrow.. i always think of something last minute, and that turns out the best. when i pick the morning of, everyone always tells me i look cute. and it makes me happy.. hmm.. something girly though, for sure. :)

7 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[17 Sep 2004|08:45am]
[ mood | amused ]

You know what's really weird? It's really weird when you put an away message up for the night and you come to check it in the morning and you get one that says: AMyth189: I just wanted to say congratulations at winning your game at 2 singles... You've gotten a lot better...Good job. Yeah, i don't know what i'm supposed to think of that. That's brandon. why did brandon send me that? It's very weird. i'm not quite sure. is it sarcasm? is it truthful? i'm not sure. when richie reads this he'll just say it's truthful, but i'm thinking sarcasm, i mean i don't know what to expect from brandon anymore. he's changed so much. but, oh well. it was nice of him to congradulate me.

so yesterday. ah. it was a boring day as usual. then i had my tennis match against owosso. it was really weird, i expected the girl to be VERY good, but she wasn't. oh well. then brandon came and watched with chad? it was weird. i saw him out out of the corner of my eye. well chad's friends with rachel and such so i figured that they were watching rachel. but, they just sat by his car which was right in front of the singlse courts not in front of the doubles. I don't know, it was very weird. hmmmmm, whatever. i'm NOT going to the tournament this weeekend, cause it's the flushing tournament, and they are all VERY hard. VERY VERY VERY. and jenna's not going so that means i have to play 1 singles, so i told dan tha i'm not going to show up. i havet o go to meijer sometime this weekend too, so i can get those razorbacks. for sherry and sequoyah.

i stayed home from school today. cause i was sooo tired this morning, and i had ssr first hour and i didn't watn to do all that, cause i'd fall asleep. =(

yeah, i don tknow what i'm going to do about tonight.. me and selena were supposed to go to the skyroom, but she siad she didn't want ot go, and i dont think i can go ou tand do anything tonight either, cause i stayed home from school todya from being "Sick." yeah. oh well, i can just lounge tonight. i'm in a cleaning mood, maybe i'll finish cleaning my room.


yeah, i dont think going to homecoming. i have no date. so, i don't wnat to go stag so if i dont have a date, i won't go at all. oh well, it's kind of overated anyway? yeah, i'm just saying that, but i just really wanted to go.. so yeah.

anyway, i'm going ot go upstairs and do nothing.
call me later if you want to .

3 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

[15 Sep 2004|05:09pm]
so today was possibly the worst day i've had in a long time. i had nothing to keep me going like i have had the past couple of days, you know? So, kayla pretended to be happy when she wasn't. But, it's ok, I mean, peopel don't notice or anything, so i'm all good.

so brandon called me a bitch yesterday. how awesome is that. he told benita who told eliseo who told me. yeah, it made me so mad.. then i went to tennis all mad and yeah i hate boys. they are so gay.

so, i thought that maybe i liked this one boy and we all who that is.. (well, at least richie does) and i don't think i do anymore. I don't know. I wrote about him yesterday to try and relieve some stress, and it helped a little, i would post it in here, but richie read it and laughed. it hurt my feelings, but it's ok. Yeah, boys confuse the crap oout of me, and i'm begininng to HATE them all. except richie and my dad. Yep, that's about it. Seriously, i hate the rest of the male population. So the only males that i'm excluding from my hate list is RICHIE and my dad. Sorry, the rest of you guys.. chances are you've either doen something to me that hurt my feelings really bad, or i just don't know you. AH.


sorry, i'm in a bad mood. maybe brandon was right.
1 impressed.| I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. .

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